I am testing a fully mobile edition of cakewalk, carefully trying to type on my iPod's infinitesimal screen. Normally, I have no troubles, but as my friend Al would say, today I feel like I have little smokies for fingers. It feels like the first real day of summer today, it's still lingering around 70 degrees well past 11:00 pm. And I have a painful thing to admit: I am an American Idol junkie. I know it's not really something to be ashamed of, but I have secretly watched every season except the one where Fantasia won, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say I probably didn't miss much. Just this year, I admitted to my very closest friend that I watch, and I doubt I would have except there was a local contender. When he was knocked out, I certainly wasn't going to cease living, but really was just watching for the judges comments on the remainders.
So having just finished the season finale and feeling a bit confused as to the allure this show has to the nation, I am giving you my top 10 favorite things about watching American Idol this year.
Here we go:
10. Perverse pleasure in watching fading rock stars bumble around in stage in front of an audience mostly composed of 13 year old girls (at least up close to the stage). Like the Miley Cyrus types really admire a 60 year old Rod Stewart singing a nearly 40 year old rendition of "Maggie May". And even the 30, 40 & 50 somethings probably are not too clearly remembering the fine figure he used to cut in all that spandex.
9. Absolute pity for Slash trying so hard to sell albums that he has to coach the cast on real rock 'n roll. Mr. Slash, it is no longer 1986, you could maybe update just a smidge.
8. More pity for poor Ryan Seacrest trying to banter with Mr. Slash. Pulling teeth would have been easier.
7. Simon's drawer of white Hanes t-shirts. Come on, this man is seriously endowed in the financial area, at least bump it up to american apparel or vintage classic ultrasoft. I doubt Target is having a difficult time keeping them in stock due to his endorsement.
6. Lady GaGa, making an absolute fool of herself, dresses as some kind of alien, and I'll throw in Katy Perry in the hideous Elvis knockoff...even if she does have the legs to show off. Know your audience, people.
5. Gwen Stefani's push-ups during "I'm Just a Girl". (For those of you who didn't watch, she actually did proper push-ups on stage in the middle of the song.)
4. Poor Paula Abdul trying to sell albums by performing live.
3. Kiss, Queen and Lionel Richie all in the same place at the same time.
2. Confirmation of my link of Star Search to American Idol when talentless, and recently enhanced, Bikini Girl performed in (insert faux shock here) a bikini.
1. Steve Martin playing the banjo, and not for comedic effect, his new bluegrass tinged album was released yesterday.
So there you have it, I could have kept it to myself, but what fun would that be? I promise more food shall appear shortly.